I hated my father as a teenager because he never let me do or buy anything I wanted. Fair enough because he was paying for it. I still hate my father because he made me realize the value of hard earned money and not buying ridiculously expensive stuff which I can’t afford (even though I pay for it now). As a cruel result I still buy and wear cheap stuff because I have been brainwashed to do so. “Asian parents are like that to keep our continent from plummeting into recession”. That’s what I told myself up until recently when I too became a parent. However, it’s not so.
Poverty and frugalness are engraved into our Asian DNA the same as hunger and thirst. Sure we have “Asians who have more money than ‘god’” but God never distinguishes him or herself with money. Neither does he or she treat us differently based on our wealth. Having said that, this article isn’t about GOD who lives in the clouds. This is about my father (my GOD who lives on earth), like many fathers who sacrifice their youth, happiness, peace of mind and their social status to buy us those ridiculously expensive shoes, or to send us to places they couldn’t even dream of. These are their goals in life… What were ours at that time or even now? I can’t remember….
My Boss in the UK had this generic question he used to ask every potential interview; “who inspires you?…”. I was already a part of the company but I secretly wanted him to ask me the same… I had my answer ready but he never asked me (maybe because he knew already… he was a smart cat). Well, FYI, it was my father who made me who I am today by believing in me, supporting me and protecting me. He had nothing when he was my age…
I have been so fortunate. Defining ambitions in life is easy…; but I sincerely hope that I grow to become half the father to my daughter as my father is to me. He is truly my mentor and the only person in this world I will listen to. I repeat… my father is the only person I listen to or have ever listened to in this world.
I believe this to be the highest honour I could bestow upon my father ever…
Dedicated to my father Shantha….
Ishan Abeywardena 